It’s all about getting to the next date….


Dating has no rules. Yet it’s interesting to see what happens when a man is serious about building a relationship that could lead to marriage.

There are those first few dates when she keeps saying “yes” to going out. We know how good that feels. But, there is no obligation. She could change her mind at any time and choose not to see you again… and we dread how that would feel!

So, we want to get it right. We want to step up, bring our “A Game” into play. If we’re going to have a chance, it calls on us to give our all. If we’re going to be happy in a relationship, we need to know that our partner is happy with us.

We often see couples who just do not seem excited, or even happy, about being together. How can we prevent that from happening to us?

We have to remember: “she doesn’t have to be with me…she is free to walk away…free to find the happiness she wants”.  We need to think like we did when we were courting her, that is, “how do I get to the next date?”  

Keeping an eye on what feeds the vitality in our relationship is essential. It’s about listening, understanding thoughts and feelings, asking “how can I help?”, giving genuine compliments, making her comfortable and safe. It may come with simple courtesies in how we act, maybe, by opening the door, helping with a coat, carrying a bag, or holding her hand. These are simple signs of care, affection, and respect.

If you think it’s one-sided, it isn’t.  She’ll find ways to give to you as well. As the behaviors deepen, a mutual reciprocity occurs. As you give to her, you will find that she returns the same care, affection and respect.


Change can be harder than we think.

It might involve personal health habits, family relationships, social
settings, work groups, and more.

We don’t think about changing on our best days. It usually happens
when we’re upset and it’s been building for awhile.

We admit there’s a problem and decide that it’s only going to change
if we do something different.

We tailor a reasonable solution, however, the resistance to change is
strong. We have an established way of doing things and those
around us have “an investment” in doing things the same way.

So, what do we do?

Persist. There is an old saying that success is not based on genius
but persistence.

Believe that we have our own domain of control in what we say and

Expect failure at the beginning and assume that the resistance will
be much greater before it subsides.

Don’t give up!